Dakota Beerman

“There is a friend closer than a brother”

“Wounds from a friend can be trusted”

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”

I haven’t heard much teaching on friendship. It’s something important but not talked about as a subject. Some people have a lot of friends, some have few, but what is a friend?

Tim Keller, in his teaching on friendship, nails it.

Keller clarifies that friendship is different than family. You choose friends by seeing and believing the same truths, not being born in the same family.

Siblings are loyal to you, but you may not LIKE each other. Friends choose each other. Friendship love is deliberate and intentional.

The four ingredients of friendship:

Constancy, Carefulness, Candor, Council

1. Constancy – A friend is available in the good times and the bad. That means friendship is costly. It’s sad when a friend is sad. That’s the point, there’s emotional connection and investment.
2. Candid – A friend is willing to tell you the truth… even when it hurts. Wound’s from a friend can be trusted. Enemies multiply kisses. It means friends tell you what you NEED to hear, enemies tell you what you WANT to hear.
3. Carefulness – A friend tells you the truth to help you, an enemy to hurt you. When you have an emotional connection with someone it hurts you as much as them. This is being careful.
4. Council – A friend can council you while ALSO being vulnerable with you. A professional has to keep it together and remain strong.

How do you get friends?

You’ve heard it 1000 times, and it’s true. To get a good friend, be a good friend.

How often are you you carefully candid? How often are you “there” for those you call friends?

As a follower of Jesus, my perfect example of friendship is him.

When a friend lets you down, it’s good to know that he won’t. Jesus is a perfect friend – he lets you in without letting you down. He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Keller’s teaching here