Dakota Beerman

“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” ‭‭

Proverbs‬ ‭3‬:‭11‬-‭12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I was reflecting on this after receiving critical feedback. I saw you did ____ , I believe you should ____.

Do you believe criticism is a gift?

When you get critical feedback, what is your first reaction?

Fight or Flight

1. Fight – You get aggressive and accuse the other person. “Who or what gives you the right to challenge me?”
2. Flight – Nod your head and say nothing. inside you think “Get me out of this conversation right now!”

These two behaviors result in getting challenged less and less. If you get pissed when someone gives you critical feedback, do you think they want to do it again?

If you nod your head and do nothing, do you think someone will continue to give you feedback?

The answer to these questions is no.

What do you about it?

Practice responding different.

1. Say thank you.
   • “Thank you for the feedback. Even if I disagree with you, I appreciate your willingness to challenge me.”
2. Get curious.
   • Ask the person for more information. They may have a whole list of things that they are hesitant to share. Invite them to get everything out.
3. Reflect back what you hear.
   • Confirm you heard them right. If they misspoke, they will correct themselves.
4. Share your why.
   • The person who gives you feedback only see’s their side of the story. Fill them in. It helps them understand your behaviors. (It could invite more feedback).
5. Don’t commit to changing, commit to processing.
   • When someone gives you feedback, they gave you a gift. They gave you an opportunity to improve. Decide if you need to make behavior changes. Don’t agree because the person said something, agree because you want to grow.