Dakota Beerman

Organizations, relationships, communities, and marriage are all vulnerable to the corrosion of gossip. I’ve seen it and lived it.

I’ve found processing productive and gossip destructive to an organization, community, etc.

What is it (Gossip)?

Google definition – unconstrained conversation or reports about other
people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.

Biblical – Whispering into one’s ears (Greek). A Talebearer (Hebrew).

According to google it’s sharing something about someone that is not true.
According to the bible it’s simply telling a tale about someone (Hebrew) or
whispering into the ears of another / secret chatter (Greek).

Productive times (For me)

1. Counseling – seeking to understand a situation or the persons perspective so I can approach them better about it.
2. leadership meetings – processing a person’s needs or a system that involves people so we can decide the best actions to take.
3. Funny Story – I would share in front of the people a part of the story (avoid completely humiliating someone).
4. When praising someone, expressing gratitude for someone.

Non Productive times (For me):

1. When I am angry at someone and want to vent.
2. When I am wanting a person to “take my side” against the person I am angry with.
3. When I want to feel better about myself.
4. When I am too afraid to talk to the person directly, so I talk about them to a different audience I am less afraid of.

What do you DO about it?

I think biblical wisdom is pretty good here. 1 John 1 – If we walk in the light, we have fellowship with each other.

Secret things corrode relationship the more they grow, spread, and fester. Those who can work through hard things are usually better for it.

Principles:

1. Promote a culture of openness and vulnerability within marriage, community, and organization.
2. If on the receiving end of gossip, help them get to the person they have beef with. Avoid taking sides and adding fuel to the fire.
3. If on the giving end of gossip, realize it only gets better in the light, with the right audience.

It’s not easy. Choose processing over gossip.